I'm smiling. Not the kind of smile that you use for when Grandma goes ballistic with the camera on Christmas. Or the kind of smile you use as a disguise around public audience.
Really smiling. 1% of you have seen this smile. The 1% that has truly made the effort to keep in touch this semester. The 1% that can decipher the face I'll make when faced with hilarious awkwardness. You're probably the same 1% that has Chapstick rites of passage.
Why the smile?
Sunlight floods the room. And I sit in its presence, greeting the streams of gold as they gently wash over me. Something feels right. I can't quite put my finger on it, but the smooth click on life's gears feels apparent. This could totally be the effect of too much coffee. Yeah? Saturday, get at me.
Or it could be the discovery that:
- I have 14 days more in France. That it will be an amazing 14 days but that going home will be the freakin' tits.
- My host sister has become like a sister to me and my best friend here. The fact that she is neither a biological sister nor my host family's actual daughter is irrelevant. Friendship extends beyond culture and language.
- Studying abroad is a janky crash course in showing you which friends remain friends, even when it's not convenient. Ironically, the people that I've talked to most are some of the busiest people I know. It's taught me that saying "Sorry, I was too busy, but I miss you!" or "Sorry! I just really suck at communication" is a bit misleading. "Busy" is a convenient excuse but a rather inconvenient truth. I haven't kept in touch with people this semester who 'have' time but rather people who have 'made' time. It's a small, but important, distinction.
- By American standards, what I eat on a daily basis is considered horrifyingly unhealthy. Yet I've never felt more at peace with my body.
- Language immersion is like playing the game CatchPhrase 24/7 -- you spend most of your time describing what you want to say to people, while they try to guess the meaning or word you're trying to convey. Sometimes you win; sometimes you lose.
- I will eat Chipotle with reckless abandon upon return to the states. RECKLESS ABANDON. To the kind man/lady in charge of said inaugural homecoming burrito: please inform HQ that you will need exactly 1.74296 shit-tons of guacamole for my burrito. Thanks!
Over and out.
Happy Saturday :)